Pumpkin Pie, Perverts and Penguins

First topic: Pumpkin Pie

It's Thanksgiving this weekend in Canadaland and tomorrow I'm going to my sister's place to stuff my face with whatever she decides to make. Whatever it is, it will be delicious as she's an excellent cook. I've been reassured that there will be pumpkin pie. So I'm very... thankful.

In fact, I'm so thankful and this being Thanksgiving, I've decided to give my sister and her dude a special gift...





Horrific, ain't it? Hehehe... it's one of my uglies, painted during part of a painting class that focused on making an ugly painting on purpose (to get over 'trying to paint a perfect painting' phobias). I'm going to finish the edges of the canvas, sign it and name it on the back (like a real painting would be) and wrap it up and give it to them in feigned sincerity. And then watch them squirm in polite horror when the open it! :D :D :D Cruel, eh? Oh God, I can't wait!!! :D


Next topic: Perverts

The other day I was grocery shopping and turned an aisle corner and witnessed a man taking (what I now believe to be) clandestine photos of a girl/woman with his iPhone (or whatever).

It took me a bit to realise what I was seeing... but yes, some man in I would guess his forties (my age) was holding his iPhone down at his side, pretending to be buying milk, all the while taking 'upskirt' snaps of some girl/woman who was dressed in a mid-thigh length skirt.

Now, I'm no prude and I try to not jump to conclusions. And although my first reaction was, 'ewwww! perv alert! perv alert!' I tried to see other possibilities: 'maybe this is a couple playing sexy games in public?' or 'maybe this is a semi professional photo shoot?' But the more I watched (while trying not to be obvious), the more I came back to my initial reaction: perv!

Plus, the girl/woman. As I got a better look at her.... well, I can't read age very well but she looked anywhere from 14 to 20 years old and completely unaware. I asked myself, 'what if this girl/woman is actually 100% 14 year old girl?'. Grrr...

Alas, it was a busy grocery store, I was busy doing my thing and I was confused and shocked by what I had just seen. I didn't really think it all through until later and of course I'm now kicking myself for not at least warning the girl/woman that some perv was upskirting her.

It's really stuck in my head though: was that a crime? what are the ethics involved here? should I have called the cops? if she was an adult, is she fair game just being in public? what if she was 14? does that make the pervs photos child porn-ish? and what responsibilities does a witness of this carry, if any?

After, much thought, a conversation with my friend Simon and a google session, I've decided to phone the local police and ask ... just haven't quite worked out what to say and ask. Watch this space.


Final topic: Penguins!

Another excellent 'animal - soundtrack' video.




:-)

The Girl Who Screwed Up Her Sleep Cycle By (reading) Stieg Larsson

OK, I am probably behind the times here but after about a month or two from starting, I've just finished reading the 'Millenium Series' by Stieg Larsson:



... and I've paid a nasty price. My 'sleep hygiene' (as they say) is all fucked up; I feel jet lagged and I bounce between having oodles of energy to turning a '15 minute nap' into a three hour snore-fest.

Seriously! I am normally very regular with my sleep. Asleep by 10-11pm and up by 6-7am and very much a morning person. I wake up full of energy (and gradually turn to mush by 9pm). So staying up repeatedly until 2am reading these damn page turners as turned me right upside down!

But wow! I thoroughly enjoyed the series. Very interesting plot, and sub plots, and great characters. I mean, how can you not love Lisbeth Salander? ... and not develop a crush on Kalle Fucking Blomkvist?

Oh, and I've watched the first two films (the Swedish ones) and I'm planning on watching the third this weekend. The first two were very good. Here's the trailer for the third:




OOOoooOOOooo, can't wait!

I'm also looking forward the American version of the first film; the trailer looks excellent although Salander will always be the Swedish version for me, I think. Still, the Americanization of a good film looks very promising!:




And while searching for the trailer above I found the following clip. It looks like it's probably from a Swedish comedy show and although it's entirely in Swedish and I have no idea what's being said, I find it very amusing. People who've read the books and/or seen the film would too, I think.



I am now going to bed with an algebra text book and hope to be asleep by 9pm!

OMFG!

I am going to do this!



Next spring/summer!

Who's with me?

Terry Fox Trotting

I happened upon the 31st annual Terry Fox Run/Walk/Wheel/Hop/Cartwheeling today. I completely forgot about it this year and hadn't heard anything in the local media (bad Marnie) but I cheered on the participants and soaked in the good atmosphere. It was nice.

Later in the day, I returned to the area where the run had been in the morning. All the signs, banners, etc had been taken down. There was no sign that there had been hundreds of folks there just hours earlier. I slowly drove by the Terry Fox statue and noticed that there was a single wee bouquet of wildflowers resting at his feet...

A pic of the statue taken on a cold day last winter...
see the toque? ;-) Folks look after Terry.

The poignancy of those delicate lone flowers contrasted with the morning's festivities absolutely floored me and I had to pull over for the tears. The 'Marathon of Hope' run is one thing, but the death of an individual is another.

I'm not entirely sure I understand why, but Terry Fox stirs some of my more profound emotions and has so since I was about twelve. This short video, accompanied by a Stan Rogers song, dissolves me to a puddle.



But I don't want this to be a sad post because really The Terry Fox Run has raised about 500,000 million dollars for cancer research and that is fucking fantastic.

I'll be out Fox Trotting next year and I've already marked it on next years calendar so I don't forget! Until then... here's some baby foxes and their doggy stepmom. She doesn't show until half way through but it's a lovely video et c'est tres francais! You can click the wee 'x' in the top right corner of the blue box to remove it - annoying!



C'est bon, eh?

Shake, Rattle and I didn't feel a thing.

I just sat down here at my computer for a bit of a coffee (iced coffee, mmmm) break and brought up the Beeb to catch up on the news and the words "Quake hits off Vancouver Island" right on the front page sort of grabbed my attention.

Magnitude-6.4 quake hits off Vancouver Island

A magnitude-6.4 earthquake has hit near Vancouver Island, Canada, the US Geological Survey (USGS) says.

The epicentre of the quake, which hit at 12:41 local time (19:41 GMT), was 289km (179 miles) west of Vancouver, the USGS reported.

The quake occurred a depth of 23km (14.3 miles), the USGS added. Eyewitness accounts say buildings swayed in central Vancouver.

However, no tsunami warning has been issued.

The closest major settlement, Port Hardy - with a population of over 5,000 - has received no reports of damage caused by the earthquake.

Kinda odd to read a foreign news site and read about such a local news event that I should have noticed!



But it's true, I didn't feel a damn thing!

Understandable really, living in a wood-framed structure, you get use to it wobbling whenever a big truck goes by so you just sort of tune that out. And I'm a bit spaced out with the ol' PMS so maybe that lightheaded feeling I felt was actually my brain momentarily jiggling like seismic jelly.

EDIT: adding... Here's how it was reported this evening on the local evening news.



Good reminder though; we're right on a fault line part of the 'Ring of Fire' and best be prepared and all that. LOL! Like a windup flashlight is going to save my ass when the condo above me decides to meet the condo below me. Sigh...

No sense worrying about it. Crank up the volume and let's dance!

Jerry Lee Lewis' first TV appearance
on the Steve Allen Show - 1957
I love this!

:-)

Candid about Candide

Last week I read Voltaire's Candide. I knew the general story and the main points about the book, as it was part of some high school literature or history class, but I had actually never read it. We were assigned to read it and I had procrastinated and procrastinated (hell, it's just a wee book, right?) and when crunched for time, I couldn't find the book, whoops! Fortunately I had the 'CliffNotes' version and read that instead.

It's always sort of bothered me that I had never read it, so 25 (cough!) plus years later; mission accomplished! I enjoyed the read. It was funnier than I had anticipated and I now feel honest.

However...

Perhaps it's just the effect of time or some glossing over by an old school curriculum but I didn't recall any mention of the bum-biting monkey lovers when I was in high school. I think that's a detail I would have remembered!

Being the curious sort, I looked up Candide on Wikipedia and along with lots of interesting info there is an illustration of the two naked ladies and their bum-biting monkey lovers that are included in some editions of the book. Alas not the edition I have but here it is in all its erotic buttocksie glory:

Engraving by Jean-Michel Moreau, le jeune

And now it's time for the candid bit.

Somehow that image and feelings aroused by it, nibbled their way through my brain and resulted one night, in one of the most horniest dreams that I have ever had. I won't go into details because actually I don't really remember many; it was all very surreal and, well, dreamlike but, whoa! When I woke I tried for a good hour to return to that pervy paradise but it had evapourated. Sigh... it was lovely while it lasted though.

So, two thumbs up, as it were, for Voltaire's Candide.

;-)

A Scaredy Cat!

Oh! This has made my day! Make sure you have your volume turned up, it's brilliant.




:-)

Individualistic birds for Simon

My friend Simon once proclaimed that starlings were an individualistic type bird, that they enjoyed their solitude and hermetic lifestyle. Ahem...

Of course he was wrong! But it's one of those very rare moments that he's actually wrong about something, anything! He's a walking encyclopedia and so I take advantage of any slight error whenever I can.

So, for Simon, a kerbillion individual starlings that just coincidentally perched themselves upon the same jumble of wires.





It has to be said that he stated this 'fact' probably over ten years ago but I will never, ever, ever, ever let him live it down! :D Yes, I'm that pathetic!

Sorry Simon. You know I love ya! ;-)

Ooo, errr!

Seen while out and about today:



I thought it was especially funny cos I have a Norco bike with a flat tire leaning against the wall at the foot of my bed. ;-)

Jack Layton 1950 - 2011

Canada lost a rare thing today: a half-way decent politician. Leader of the NDP Party and Leader of the Official Opposition Jack Layton died this morning.



I won't repeat all the information, career highlights, tributes and what not found elsewhere in the media - like the CBC's coverage. Instead I will post a fun video of him that I've always liked. This is from the Rick Mercer Report when Rick visited Jack's home in early 2010.




RIP Jack.


Edit! Adding a 'This Hour Has 22 Minutes' (Canadian news and politics comedy show) compilation that they're just put together:

Dog Watching

I have no desire to get a dog but I do love watching them. So, I've taken up dog watching. I go down to Dallas Road where there is a big long park that follows the shoreline and most of it is an off-leach areas for dogs.

Voila:



Here's one usual scene: people drive up and unload their dogs. The people congregate in a spot and the dogs run to meet each other and the other people. Then off the dogs go to play and the people sip their coffees and chat.





Another scenario: people just walk by along the path with their dog and stuff happens. Like this man and his dog who decided he'd like to play fetch with a wee stick he'd found. :-)








Dog watching photos will likely be a recurring theme on this blog.

Back. And a Boat.

I've decided that I like to blog. I think. Decisive as always...

...


The other day, I was out and about in my car when I saw a big-ass boat! I couldn't get close to it since it was moored pretty much at tourism ground-zero (traffic/people congestion hell) so I drove over to the other side of the harbour and looked at it from the other side.





According to the local news... it's 'The Pallada' a Russian tall ship (no shit) on an expedition retracing the 'discovery' of Russian America by Russian sailors 270 years ago. It sailed from Russia on July 1st towards Alaska and then down the coast to Victoria then soon it will be off to San Fransisco, then Honolulu, then Japan, then home.

A few tall ships show up in the harbour every year and Victoria usually hosts a 'Tall Ships Festival' (though it's been cancelled this and next year as people/organizations can't afford to get here thanks to the crap economy) but I never tire of seeing them.





They're fantastic!

Owl and the Pussycat

I normally put the 'cute animal' video clips that I come across on the right hand column of my blog but this, in my opinion, is exceptional. A lovely black cat and a lovely barn owl as friends. Oooh, it's just so beautiful.



Awww...

Experimental Meatloaf and Salt n Pepa

... because what goes better with meatloaf?

I think I am a pretty good cook. However, I don't get off on it; if I was rich, a personal chef would be something I'd seriously consider. I rarely even discuss cooking but today I am going to because today I made something that was either going to be very good or total shite ... and it was, still is, deeeelicious!

As per my previous post, I've gone a bit cave woman in terms of my eating. I'm not following any strict way of eating, no 'diet.' I'm just dropping the bread, pasta, grains while eating more meat, nuts and veggies. Essentially a paleolithic diet... except with some cheese. :D

Today, I bought some ground up turkey with the plan to make 'my mom's meatloaf.' Alas, it called for breadcrumbs and onion soup mix. Hmmm, what to do, what to do? Well, I thought, bread is just filler and texture really so I figured grated zucchini would suffice... except I had none. But I did have a bit of cauliflower and an apple. And a fried onion is way better than a soup mix. And I also had some capicollo and some cheddar that needed to be used up. So essentially I just went a bit 'mad scientist' and emptied my fridge.

Et voila!




Cave Woman Meatloaf... avec fromage

Fry up an onion in olive oil.
Add two hand fulls of chopped up cauliflower.

As that cooks...

In a bowl mix up:
- ground turkey breast
- an egg
- a chopped up apple (yes really, an apple)
- a few squirts of BBQ sauce
- a few splashes of Wooster sauce
- Salt & Pepa

Also: grate up some cheese but keep it aside to sprinkle on top.

Let the onions and cauliflower cool a bit then throw it in the bowl with the turkey stuff and mix it all up. It should look pretty gross. ;-)

Put half of that stuff in the bottom of an oiled dish*.

Then! Arrange a layer of capicollo (spicey ham) and then the rest of the turkey mixture.

Remember the cheese? Sprinkle that on top.

Bang it into the oven - 350 for 90 mins... ? or until it looks done.

Yum.

Anyways...

It's just been over a week of Cave Woman eating and I already feel a lot better. Oodles more energy already... makes me wanna Shoop!




* I don't have a loaf pan... so my meatloaf looks more like lasagna. ;-)

Lovely Fresh Sea Air and ARGH!!!!

Tuesday morning I went for a walk by the ocean and the breeze was amazing! The air is always cool and fresh but it was super-duper, uber-duber fresh that morning. Other walkers, joggers and bench warmers all commented, 'it's exceptionally fresh today, eh!'




It was wonderful!

Then I looked down. See in the bottom right of the above photo?

Here is it, up close, foot included:




Vote?

ARGH!!!! Don't remind me! Yes, I fucking voted and yes I'm fucking pissed off at the results!!! lol.

I dislike Steven Harper very much. I dislike that his 'Harper Government' now has a majority in Parliament.

But there was some good news. My MP, Denise Savoie (whom I voted for) was re-elected with even a larger share of the local vote; Elizabeth May, leader of Canada's Green Party was elected - the first Green MP!; and there's been a surge of support for Canada's leftist NDP Party, a phenomena nicknamed Orange Crush.

Here's a recap from Democracy Now! which I think is very good:




Anyways... who cares, really? Look, a pretty sailboat:




Aahhhhh.... that's better....

;-)

Paleopoem

Paleopoem

There's a woman on the west coast
A prolific burner of toast
She's not feeling good
Not good as she should
Just 'ok, fine' at the most

Her gusto for life has faded
Her energy stores; down-graded
It could be the meds
She takes for her head
That's making her seem so jaded

So many goals are in her head
Stuff to do before she is dead
But motivation's flat
WTF is it at?
And she does a duvet dive instead

I don't think her prob is mental
I think it's what's on her table
Too many carbos
'n blood sugar yo-yos
She needs to get herself stable

Deep history gave us our genes
We're not as evolved as it seems
Our bodies like meat
More than grains and wheat
And loves lots of nuts, fruits and greens

So for the next thirty one days
She will alter her eating ways
Gonna give it a whirl
Grrr! Eat like cave girl!
And hope to find the oomph that she craves!

Danger on the Streets

Victoria BC style...







;-)

Now THESE are hummmingbird piccies!

I was out walking with my camera yesterday and woohoo!!! I saw a wee hummingbird zip across my path so I stopped and looked and looked and ah-huh! found it perched in some brambles. Unlike my previous post about a hummingbird, yesterday was sunny (better light to see their iridescence), I had my DSLR this time and a zoom lens on it and I could get much closer to it.

Result! Here are four photos - I took about 50! lol. I've uploaded the original sized photos - so do click on them to enlarge them. The detail is great.

A hummingbird when the light is not quite right.

"Hey! Are you taking my piccie?"

The colour in those feathers is amazing.

Iridescence, full on! Lovely wee bird.

I Spy...

...with my little eye...

Yeeeesssss!

Un poste en français.

Salut!

Comment ça va?

Hier, je suis allé à un festival français. C'était une fête de tous les francophones locales; les gens de Québec, de la France, d'Algérie, du Maroc, de l'Acadie et d'autres régions de langue française du Canada et d'autres pays.

Je suis allée parce que l'amant de ma soeur est un francophone d'Ottawa et il vendait ses poteries et jouant de sa guitare et le chant.

Il a été un moment de plaisir et j'ai pu rencontrer des gens agréables et la pratique de communication en français. J'avais l'habitude de bilingues! Mais pas plus ... si je peux le comprendre, j'ai perdu la capacité de le parler.

Je ne suis pas sûr de ce que d'une unité d'élimination de la bombe a à voir avec les francophones? Je suppose que c'était la façon dont le gouvernement fédéral a fait don au festival. Bizarre, non?



Il avait de la nourriture, la musique, des artisans et des kiosques d'information.

Malheureusement le temps était un peu humide et la batterie de mon appareil photo est mort, donc je n'ai pas de photos. Mais j'ai trouvé cette vidéo ... J'aurais pu utiliser hier!

A humdinger of a day!

Today while out on a leisurely stroll, I heard that sound. That low and lovely vibration of a hummingbird. I see and hear them a lot but it's often fleeting, more like, 'ooo, there goes a hummingbird!'

However, today I got a very nice treat! This hummingbird buzzed overhead and landed in the brambles right beside me. I stopped and watched... lovely. A 'Anna's Hummingbird' and a very tame one! And! I had my camera! I sloooowly get my camera out of my pocket thinking the birdie will shoot off at any moment. But nope, the birdie was still there, so I took a piccie.



Then, I hedged my bets and flicked the switch to 'video'... and OMG! The birdie is still there! So I filmed this:



I get sore arms holding my camera at a weird angle and so stop the David Attenborough impression. I say thanks to the birdie and walk on. As I do, I tell a couple walking towards, that there's a hummingbird there. They stop and watch it... cos it's still there!



Then I wait some more and see that they've told another couple... it's still there!



Aww. It's lovely to see the pleasure of a wee, teeny, widdle bird can bring.

I wish the pics and video could have captured the hummingbird better. Especially the red iridescent throat and forehead. Alas, it's an old cheap point and shoot that I had... it has it's limits, as do I! But here's a wonderful video another local got out his kitchen window of the same species building a nest over ten days last spring. It's gorgeous.



When I lived in Britain, I was so surprised to learn that there were no hummingbirds there. I shall pack and release some when I next visit. ;-)

I wish I still had my cat.

She would have loved this!

Ok... I would have loved this. ;-)

A Valentine's Day Confessional

Move over Robbie Coltrane, Jeff Bridges, Mike Holmes, Daniel Radcliffe (yes, I know, I'm now a pathetic cougar), Stephen Fry, Eddie Izzard, Rick Mercer, etc... I'm adding a new 'I Would' to my list:




Why? You might ask.

I have been reading 'The God Delusion' and I've become quite smitten by Richard Dawkins' writing; so articulate, well reasoned and humorous. Plus, his book has put into words, thoughts that I've had my whole life though he's expressed them much more clearly and with much more substance. It's like looking into a mirror and seeing yourself, magnified and more beautiful than you once believed. His passion for life, or rather, his very existence as a biological life form in the natural world, is very contagious to me.

Though I'm devouring the book, atheism is not new to me. I've never believed in God/gods. I was never convinced of their existence and I've never had the need or desire to believe in supernatural entities.

I've never really advertised my non-belief and have just considered religion irrelevant. BUT! I think my perspective on that is changing. I just might be turning into a Raging Atheist! ;-)

And here's part of the reason why:

Isn't he just dreamy? ;-)

The Penis is Evil

Thanks to the wind blowing a gale out there, I've been up since 2.30 am. After reading for a while, I remembered that on some discussion forum I read, someone posted a YouTube clip of an interesting film trailer.

It was for a 1974 film called 'Zardoz' starring Sean Connery and it was quite frankly the weirdest trailer that I had ever seen... so I just had to watch the entire film.

So earlier this morning I downloaded and watched it via iTunes for $4 CND - money well spent, imo!

What a head trip! I can't really describe it.

Just watch the trailer:

As for a review? Ha! I'm still reeling from seeing Sean Connery run around in thigh-high come-fuck-me boots.




It was, at once, one of the worst and best film I've ever seen. If you like movies like that, I highly recommend it.

I can't think of anything else to say, so I'll let Zardoz speak:

"The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was, but the gun shoots death, and purifies the Earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth . . . and kill!"

Ok, since Zardoz brought up the evil penis, I'll mention that there's another penis-related scene that's just hilarious:






It really is the weirdest film that I've seen in a long time. It's great!

(I have no idea what it was about though, lol!)

Mmmmm..... coffee....

This is what a bit of coffee left in a coffee mug looks like after two weeks.



I didn't have it in me to photograph what a toilet full of 'a night of pee' looks like after festering for two weeks. Just imagine a layer of grey fuzz living in your bowl. =:-o

But, yippy! I got home a few days ago. Have been 'given occupancy' by the fire department, building inspector and restoration company. Talk about feeling a lack of control in your own life...

It's nice to be back but weird. Only about a third of us in the building are back so it's a bit of a ghost town, half the building is sealed off as an asbestos containment zone and it's still smokey and smelly in the corridors. Not an 'ahhhh home sweet home' feeling, really.

It could have been so much worse. Still, it sure makes one think.

I'm a Hateful Slut-Bitch :-)

Hey! I've received my first piece of hate mail! And some charming new comments on a very old thread.

Remember me bitching about the Town of Tisdale's 'Land of Rape and Honey'?

Well someone doesn't like it and is letting me know.

I don't mind when people disagree with me, attack my argument, bitch back at me, call me a bitch, call me a slut... These things do not bother me. I'm an opinionated person and enjoy debate even when ad hominems fly. But one comment, on an unrelated recent post, was beyond the pale and I deleted that. However, I have published all of the other comments relating to the Tisdale post.

I have also decided to publish the contents of the email. I think an email that ends with 'go fuck yourself' does not deserve my usual respect for the other's privacy. The boldy bits are my words from my original post.

The email:

Offical Reply,

I just finished reading you blog and it shocks me how you think you can say these things about us strickly from the slogan that is on our sign. You think you can be offended becuase you came across a sign that reflected the resources of a town? Well number1 you dont live here and number2 we are proud of our acheivements and for Brent Butt, i dont think you should be posting public bashings on his name with our slogan.

"It's just another typically backasswards small rural Canadian town. A town that on the surface is full of friendly happy shiny people but contains an underbelly of red necked sexist machismo (and various other yuckiness, no doubt)."

this is disgusting and fuck you for saying shit like this, i can assure you that many of us have seen your blog and all feel as outraged as the anonymous comments that are being sent to you. If you think for one second that we are 'underbelly red neck sexists' than you are very wrong.

"Whichever way, this highlights another thing that pisses me off about Canada. Many Canadians will bleat on about how friendly, peace-lovin, tolerant, egalitarian Canada is yet behave in the exact opposite manner, turn a blind eye to anything that doesn't conform to their sugar-coated stereotypes or just be so incredibly ignorant of the world beyond their front porches."

OH yes, we are all ignorant when we are off our front porches because we nolonger have access to our shot guns right? because we all like to chew on peices of grass and play banjo's all day long, you think we sugarcoat stereotypes? well yes it is true we give the respect to everyone that deserves it, except for those ignorant bitches in America!

p.s.
Go fuck yourself you Canadian Hating Bitch

Upstaged ;-)

Well it's day 11 of being out of my home. It's not been fun.

Staying in a hotel with belongings you've brought with you, in an unexplored city, on a holiday is one thing... ending up in a hotel because 'officials' say you can't go home, checking in wearing your PJs and staying in hotel in a city that you've lived most of your life in, it is quite another experience. That sentence doesn't make complete sense but it's my blog and I know what I mean. So, fuck it.

Anyways...

Yesterday, I kept humming 'Homeless' by Paul Simon and Ladysmith Black Mambazo to myself. Not that I consider myself homeless but I certainly feel aspects of homelessness; stress, sadness, disorientation, insomnia, never 'at home, safe and sound' feeling and etc...

Last night when I was searched for the song on YouTube, I found this wonderful video of Paul Simon being upstaged by a wee girl on Sesame Street. I just love it.




And the song I was searching for:



Hopefully my next post will be from home.

RIP Cal, You Stud Muffin

Oh crap, what a week.

First the fire.

And now the death of a neighbour and friend.

I didn't know Cal very well but I loved him. I've known him for 10 years. He was a man who lived in my building and his car was parked near mine. We seemed to have similar schedules, so we saw each other a lot.

He was 97. The youngest 97 year old, ever. He drove, he didn't need glasses, he danced, he went ice skating a few times a week, he was trim, energetic... and such a flirt!

We carried on 'an affair' for ten years.

If we exited the elevator together, and if people were about, he'd exclaim, 'Marnie! Please! Keep your hands off me! I've told you a million times, I'd not your toy boy!' or he'd introduce me as his stalker or his latest hussy or something similar. He was a hoot. And he was very inspiring to me. He had such a zest for life.

He died a couple of days ago. :-(

Fantasy vs Reality

To a lot of women and some men, firemen are considered hot. They're fit and they risk their lives to save people, pets and property. Physical attractiveness, danger and service for good... what's not to like?





With that in mind, one of my silly fantasies has always been being rescued from a burning building by a gorgeous fireman. I'm a bit embarrassed for being so cliched. ;-)


Fantasy:
I'm looking particularly gorgeous one evening as I'm at home, painting a masterpiece. I smell wood burning, mmmmm... hickory.

"Oh! 'Tis a wee fire!"

I go to my window and a firetruck pulls up and unloads a crew:




Reality:
I wake up out of a deep sleep to the sounds of a muffled alarm (hard of hearing, me) and not until starting to smell smoke and hearing pounding on my door does it register in my sleepy, deaf head that this might be not be a false alarm.

I have morning face, bad breath and greasy bed hair. I leave my flat wearing running shoes, jeans, my PJs top and a jacket. The smoke in the corridor smells disgusting and I run to the stairwell.

(photo unavailable!)


Fantasy:




Reality:
At the emergency exit, I meet five or six elderly folks trying to get down a flight of steps. I proceed to help each of them down and across a swampy path away from the building. One lady has no shoes on, some still in their jammies. It's very cold out. Everyone is a bit freaked out.


Fantasy:
I am brought down to the ground and given mouth-to-mouth... ya know, just in case. ;-)




Reality:
I see firemen putting up a ladder. They're rescuing a Princess. A cat called Princess. Awwwww.... still, I'm a bit pissed off, cos that cat should have been me. ;-)





Fantasy:
Mr Fireman and I have a romantic meal and an evening of wild sex. :-)



For the wild sex video, please send me your credit card details.


Reality:
The fire was so hard to put out, they had pizza and coffee delivered. Yep, it took that long.




I'm now a 'displaced person' - I left with what I was wearing, my meds, my laptop and my mittens. Now living in a hotel until I can have access to my flat, which might be a week or months, depending upon asbestos contamination tests.

It's all very romantic. :-/


Fantasy:
The fireman is there purely for my selfish pleasure.


Reality:
They work their fucking asses off.




While I've always appreciated fire-fighters, watching them for a few hours gave me a much more profound appreciation for the very real risks that they take.





... and will take willingly, even to save a wee Princess.





Fantasy:
I don't consider anyone but myself.


Reality:
There are about 100 people, many of them in the 80s and 90s, now 'homeless.' I'm ok. I'm 'young' and healthy - I can adapt. Many of my neighbours are not young and/or healthy and/or have life circumstances that are stressful enough as it is. They don't need this shit.

While fantasy nibbles my earlobes, reality bites. Sometimes very hard.

And now I'm afraid to fantasize about anything.