Sunday, January 30, 2011

I'm a Hateful Slut-Bitch :-)

Hey! I've received my first piece of hate mail! And some charming new comments on a very old thread.

Remember me bitching about the Town of Tisdale's 'Land of Rape and Honey'?

Well someone doesn't like it and is letting me know.

I don't mind when people disagree with me, attack my argument, bitch back at me, call me a bitch, call me a slut... These things do not bother me. I'm an opinionated person and enjoy debate even when ad hominems fly. But one comment, on an unrelated recent post, was beyond the pale and I deleted that. However, I have published all of the other comments relating to the Tisdale post.

I have also decided to publish the contents of the email. I think an email that ends with 'go fuck yourself' does not deserve my usual respect for the other's privacy. The boldy bits are my words from my original post.

The email:

Offical Reply,

I just finished reading you blog and it shocks me how you think you can say these things about us strickly from the slogan that is on our sign. You think you can be offended becuase you came across a sign that reflected the resources of a town? Well number1 you dont live here and number2 we are proud of our acheivements and for Brent Butt, i dont think you should be posting public bashings on his name with our slogan.

"It's just another typically backasswards small rural Canadian town. A town that on the surface is full of friendly happy shiny people but contains an underbelly of red necked sexist machismo (and various other yuckiness, no doubt)."

this is disgusting and fuck you for saying shit like this, i can assure you that many of us have seen your blog and all feel as outraged as the anonymous comments that are being sent to you. If you think for one second that we are 'underbelly red neck sexists' than you are very wrong.

"Whichever way, this highlights another thing that pisses me off about Canada. Many Canadians will bleat on about how friendly, peace-lovin, tolerant, egalitarian Canada is yet behave in the exact opposite manner, turn a blind eye to anything that doesn't conform to their sugar-coated stereotypes or just be so incredibly ignorant of the world beyond their front porches."

OH yes, we are all ignorant when we are off our front porches because we nolonger have access to our shot guns right? because we all like to chew on peices of grass and play banjo's all day long, you think we sugarcoat stereotypes? well yes it is true we give the respect to everyone that deserves it, except for those ignorant bitches in America!

p.s.
Go fuck yourself you Canadian Hating Bitch



Thursday, January 27, 2011

Upstaged ;-)

Well it's day 11 of being out of my home. It's not been fun.

Staying in a hotel with belongings you've brought with you, in an unexplored city, on a holiday is one thing... ending up in a hotel because 'officials' say you can't go home, checking in wearing your PJs and staying in hotel in a city that you've lived most of your life in, it is quite another experience. That sentence doesn't make complete sense but it's my blog and I know what I mean. So, fuck it.

Anyways...

Yesterday, I kept humming 'Homeless' by Paul Simon and Ladysmith Black Mambazo to myself. Not that I consider myself homeless but I certainly feel aspects of homelessness; stress, sadness, disorientation, insomnia, never 'at home, safe and sound' feeling and etc...

Last night when I was searched for the song on YouTube, I found this wonderful video of Paul Simon being upstaged by a wee girl on Sesame Street. I just love it.




And the song I was searching for:



Hopefully my next post will be from home.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

RIP Cal, You Stud Muffin

Oh crap, what a week.

First the fire.

And now the death of a neighbour and friend.

I didn't know Cal very well but I loved him. I've known him for 10 years. He was a man who lived in my building and his car was parked near mine. We seemed to have similar schedules, so we saw each other a lot.

He was 97. The youngest 97 year old, ever. He drove, he didn't need glasses, he danced, he went ice skating a few times a week, he was trim, energetic... and such a flirt!

We carried on 'an affair' for ten years.

If we exited the elevator together, and if people were about, he'd exclaim, 'Marnie! Please! Keep your hands off me! I've told you a million times, I'd not your toy boy!' or he'd introduce me as his stalker or his latest hussy or something similar. He was a hoot. And he was very inspiring to me. He had such a zest for life.

He died a couple of days ago. :-(

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Fantasy vs Reality

To a lot of women and some men, firemen are considered hot. They're fit and they risk their lives to save people, pets and property. Physical attractiveness, danger and service for good... what's not to like?





With that in mind, one of my silly fantasies has always been being rescued from a burning building by a gorgeous fireman. I'm a bit embarrassed for being so cliched. ;-)


Fantasy:
I'm looking particularly gorgeous one evening as I'm at home, painting a masterpiece. I smell wood burning, mmmmm... hickory.

"Oh! 'Tis a wee fire!"

I go to my window and a firetruck pulls up and unloads a crew:




Reality:
I wake up out of a deep sleep to the sounds of a muffled alarm (hard of hearing, me) and not until starting to smell smoke and hearing pounding on my door does it register in my sleepy, deaf head that this might be not be a false alarm.

I have morning face, bad breath and greasy bed hair. I leave my flat wearing running shoes, jeans, my PJs top and a jacket. The smoke in the corridor smells disgusting and I run to the stairwell.

(photo unavailable!)


Fantasy:




Reality:
At the emergency exit, I meet five or six elderly folks trying to get down a flight of steps. I proceed to help each of them down and across a swampy path away from the building. One lady has no shoes on, some still in their jammies. It's very cold out. Everyone is a bit freaked out.


Fantasy:
I am brought down to the ground and given mouth-to-mouth... ya know, just in case. ;-)




Reality:
I see firemen putting up a ladder. They're rescuing a Princess. A cat called Princess. Awwwww.... still, I'm a bit pissed off, cos that cat should have been me. ;-)





Fantasy:

Mr Fireman and I have a romantic meal and an evening of wild sex. :-)



For the wild sex video, please send me your credit card details.


Reality:
The fire was so hard to put out, they had pizza and coffee delivered. Yep, it took that long.




I'm now a 'displaced person' - I left with what I was wearing, my meds, my laptop and my mittens. Now living in a hotel until I can have access to my flat, which might be a week or months, depending upon asbestos contamination tests.

It's all very romantic. :-/


Fantasy:
The fireman is there purely for my selfish pleasure.


Reality:

They work their fucking asses off.




While I've always appreciated fire-fighters, watching them for a few hours gave me a much more profound appreciation for the very real risks that they take.





... and will take willingly, even to save a wee Princess.





Fantasy:
I don't consider anyone but myself.


Reality:
There are about 100 people, many of them in the 80s and 90s, now 'homeless.' I'm ok. I'm 'young' and healthy - I can adapt. Many of my neighbours are not young and/or healthy and/or have life circumstances that are stressful enough as it is. They don't need this shit.

While fantasy nibbles my earlobes, reality bites. Sometimes very hard.

And now I'm afraid to fantasize about anything.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Public Service Announcement

This is my favourite cereal. But...




Don't remove the inner bag from the box... then grasp that bag at the top... and proceed to shake it up and down to get the hazelnuts to rise to the top.




Just don't do it.



I hope that this blog post has been educational for you all.

I thank you.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Bite Me, Van Gogh!

It's quite a rare thing to come across a finished painting by renowned masterpiece-maker, Ms Toastburner but this outstanding piece de resistance is now in the possession of a world-famous, European art collector. Oh oui, c'est chic.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Look into the hypnotic eye....


Click to enlarge... and do it! It's so cool!



I see eyes so differently now... love it!