Hello 2010! ;-)
For the last year, and some, I've been single and not sexually involved with another human being. Sniffle! But, one perk of this has been not really being too concerned with whether or not I look and feel like a she-sasquatch.
Though I'm not a very hairy person, I could probably knit a small doily from the hair currently flourishing on my shins. And, get this! My name is Marnie and I have three nipple hairs! Two on one, one on the other.
I normally pluck these buggers but I just haven't given them much thought over the months until recently. One has grown to an impressive inch and a half! Cool, eh?
Being the curious sort, I wondered if there was a World Record for the longest nipple hair... well of course there is! A man named Doug Williams has a five incher! So, a ways to go for me then.
I'm going to let them grow though, just to see how freakishly long they'll get... at least until I get laid. Though, at this rate, I may end up looking like this:
Couple of points (pardon the pun) I'd like to raise here.... Firstly, I notice you've been oddly selective in describing your sexual involvement..... just how involved have you been with the animal kingdom?
ReplyDeleteThe proliferation of hair on your body would appear to exacerbate my fears.
Secondly, we only have your word for these freaks of nature. In true blogland spirit, I think you ought to have provided photographic evidence of this calamity of nature....
The blogworld awaits with baited breath...
Sometimes words create enough of a picture.
ReplyDeleteNow I have this vision of you getting unexpectedly lucky and then trying to explain your hand in bra and tears!
I cringed and I laughed. Damn hairiness! Why does getting older have to mean more hair? Stupid hormones! Stop torturing me. Hey, a lovely woman named Jayne sent me the nicest email because you had pointed her to my blog. You're super, nipple hairs and all.
ReplyDeleteAnd what a 2010 opener!! Right now, I'm not up for "a picture paints a thousand words". I'm happy to take your word on it. As Rob points out though, I do hope you have some prior warning for some sexual activity - it's not the kind of thing one likes to leave till the last minute, what with the doily legs too.
ReplyDeleteMy confession is that I have a beard! OK - so it is one lonely hair that shows up every now and again- but nevertheless, it's definitely unwanted on the hairy front!
I have to agree with Neil, I would like some proof. I am of course refering to your shins.
ReplyDeleteTeeheehee! Excellenty.
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that with your willingness to fess up bout the hairy nips, you're well set mentally fira great New Year.
You def deserve it.
Trust Mr Neil Tasker to be the first comment on such a post. ;-) I am noticing Neil that you've entirely ignored the plant kingdom... and you know that I love my veggies. ;-P
ReplyDeletePhotographic evidence? Watch this space... or run to the hills with Rob, Ann and Chris!
Sophia, I can vouche for Jayne... I've met her and she is absolutely ace. I have not however met her zoo...! ;-) I do love your blogs!
Oh Ann... my mom has had one of those 'beards' for as long as I can remember... one wee hair that can barely be seen. But she refused to pluck it... 'or two will grow back!' I've tried for years to yank it but she's a quick old broad.
Thanks Naldo... I think you're right! Me wondering about my nipples is a good sign for my mental health! lol!
Thanks ya'll! :-)
been bit worried you being so quiet n' all. now it's vice versa. :) yikes! on those nips. please, do not post any pics of 'em. PLEASE! 8D
ReplyDeleteHah, your blog eats my comments up. I make some terribly witty and pithy comment and it disappears never to be seen again.
ReplyDeleteSo, here's another comment.
Tweezers.