Last week, I found out that a good friend is going to hatch a crib lizard. This friend lives abroad and likes real cards sent through the post. So, I went to a shop to find one and instead found out that congrats new baby cards really suck.
All the Moms and Dads on the cards are White. All the babies are White. How creepy! My friend is White, her dude is Black.
There are 'Congrats on your new boy' 'or girl' cards. With all the girl cards being pink and all the boy cards being blue. Of course. My friends don't want to know the sex of their peanut ahead of time.
But, worst than all the gendered, racialised bullshit is that the cards are just soooooo saccharine, it hurts! Seriously, my eyes are still recovering from all their rolling.
Yeah, I'm happy my friend is fulfilling something that is truly meaningful for her and her dude but I don't want to say that through angels and teddy bears and elves and religious prose and baby talk. FFS! I'm an adult giving this card to another adult. All that sucky wucky baby speak from one adult to another frankly creeps me right out! Boundaries, people, boundaries. Shudder!
All I wanted was a nice and heartfelt 'Congrats you two on your new baby' card. I would have thought that that type of card would have dominated but I could not find a single one.
Thank god for printers and t'internet though...