Sunday, August 2, 2009

Family photo.

This is my Grandma, my Mom's mom.

I look at this photo a lot and I wonder who she was. I never met her, she died before I was born.

I never met either of my Grandfathers; one died before I was born, the other left his wife and kids (my Dad's mom and his three brothers) never to be heard from again.

I met my Dad's mom and her much younger second husband (an original cougar she was) a few times. I've nice but few memories of them, they died when I was ten. And I lied, it wasn't her second husband. They never bothered with getting married; she preferred living in sin. ;-)

I have never met many of my uncles or aunts. I'm not even sure if they're still alive.

I do know one uncle; my Dad's little brother but I haven't seen him in 15 years.

I don't know any of my cousins, except one.

I have four nephews; I haven't seen my oldest nephew, who is the same age as me, since we were 14. We were like siblings and very close. The two middle ones I saw at my father's funeral (Nov 07); the youngest I haven't seen in seven years.

I haven't seen my niece in seven years either.

I have two great-nephews that I've never met.

My oldest brother died about ten years ago. I hadn't seen him since I was 15. And prior to that visit, since I was seven.

I haven't seen my other brother or my sisters since last xmas.

I saw my Mom last week. I try to keep in regular contact with her, especially since my Dad died. I do love her but...

I have no children and I think I'm ready to close the door on that one. I like kids, well some kids ;-) but I've never really desired having children of my own and looking at the above, it's no wonder really.

The photo of my Grandma is my notion of family; unknown, faded and two-dimensional.

Thank god for friends.

EDIT - Re-reading the above. I think the above might sound worse to people who have a stronger sense of family than I do. To me, the above is normal; it's what I'm use to. I certainly feel a void of sorts and sometimes that knocks me flat but it's also a 'I don't miss what I never had' sort of thing at the same time.


  1. When first read this thought that's cool, indian blood on your familytree. LOL! Turned out cougar was something else entirely. :)

    She oviesly was a biker, must be som gang related thingy judging from those similar "uniforms". LOL! Zenith she's on is one impressive piece of motor. When was this taken? Circa 1930's? Nice sepias on this one too. Original and very impressive shades. Old school if I never seen one. In multiple shapes and forms.

    Another "freak" reporting. Have no kids (that I know of). Never could understand why somebody wants to have em. Still don't.

    You probably don't have that nice piece of motor. Herited any thing else? Like taste in younger blokes? Harassing em in every change you've got? i.e. me, for exsample. LOL! 8D ;)

  2. Haha! Ha!!

    You're not THAT much younger than me, prkl!

    No kids (that you know of), lol. Me neither. ;-)

    I think the bikes were just a photo prop thing although someone in my family had a bike shop at some point (in Scotland somewhere) so they might be real and from there. It would have been taken before early 1920s I think. Not sure! Cool pic though, yep. :-)

  3. I am the kind of person that actually enjoys living at home with my mother and brother (just as well really otherwise I'd probably have to take up prositution or drug running) but having skulked through many family gathering where lifetimes of barely restrained resentments bubbled away....

  4. Cool - a real biker chick.

    I'm similar to you with family connections - they are out there somewhere but I wouldn't recognise them if I bumped into them in the street.

    Sometimes I feel I ought to make the effort - but like you say, you don't really miss what you have never had.

  5. I know what you mean, Ann.

    Many years ago, my brother once asked my Mom who the 'doable blonde' (charming) was in a photo she had sent him... 'that's your sister...' lol. Those hillbilly trucks are making sense to me now. ;-)

    I sometimes have made the effort but it's not been reciprocated. That's a wonderful feeling.
    :-| So, I'm sticking with friends as family until I get adopted. :-)

  6. Hah, reminds me I have some old photos to frame up for a rogues gallery.

    Family - you can chose your friends but not your relations.

    I like my close family, but we don't see each other that often. The Atlantic plays a part in that though. ;)

  7. As long as you are not feeling lonely, who needs family? Friends fit the human connection needs nicely. You might find yourself reaching out to your blood family more as you get older, though. A book I read says that type of connection-fostering is built into the human female, her bigger reason for living past menopause, you might say. Don't burn any bridges if you like them, is my advice, not that you asked.

  8. "Faded and two-dimensional". I recognize so much about what your wrote it is eery. Being raised in a foster home left me little contact with many family members outside of my brother, sister and uh, my "mother" and "father". I can't even remember the last time I saw a cousin or even an aunt or uncle for that matter. I have not spoken or seen my brother in over 20 years and have not spoken to my sister in about 7 or 8. I'm working on 2 years with my father. I guess it doesn't pay to piss me off eh! I'm way beyond expecting a family of my own at this point so I hear you on that end as well. Perhaps, if I am still single when I hit 100 and you are still available maybe we could start "living in sin". Wink, wink!

  9. I love the biker Grannie, been thinking of getting a bike myself. As for the family thing, I love my lot but friends are just as important and if you didn,t want kids fine why should you.

  10. What a fab photo. I love the bike and hope it wasn't just a prop, I'd much rather think of her bombing about on it.

    My family isn't the closest either. I often feel guilty that I don't do enough to make it so. Friends are important and you've usually got more in common with them!

  11. Thanks for all your comments people.

    I'll meet you in the Depends section of Walmart on your 100th birthday, Bogey! ;-)

  12. Since I can trace our families back into the 1500s and grew up attending enormous family reunions featuring homemade foods and ice cream, and since reunions even today are among the year's highlights for me, this gives me a glimpse into what life might be like in other families. Thanks.

  13. I love that photo, she looks charming.