Friday, November 13, 2009
ugh... umm... aww...
I've been struggling for some peace of mind for a long while now and I think I'm battling depression. I recognise the increasing blackness and frequency of my dark moods but I also paradoxically have been feeling better in some respects.
It's an odd set of feelings to feel better and worse at once so it was a bit confusing to start taking an antidepressant, which I'm now taking and I find that very depressing, lol. Seriously though, swallowing that first pill was painful (a feeling defeat and defect) but ultimately I hope it takes the rough bottom edge off of my mood and anxiety without taking too much off the top.
Relating to the above, while 'having a moment' a few days ago, I messed with my blog... tried a new template and I think it removed stuff, I selected various options and fuck knows what else I did and in the mood I was in 'ah fuck it, who cares?' was my response to the mess and just left it.
I've received a few 'are you ok?' messages, which I will respond to eventually (I'm very spaced out) but I wanted say sorry to cause any worries or concern, thank you for caring; it means tons to me... you have no idea.