Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Auto maintenance in 252 easy steps!

Today I decided to become more intimate with my lovely Rusty. A few days ago he started warning me that his wiper fluid was getting low. So today I decided to take care of it.

Context... I live on the third floor and my Rusty is parked in the underground parking. That's 42 steps up from the underground to my floor; I've counted it a thousand times. I don't use the elevator if I'm going up unless I'm carrying groceries but I do use it going down as my left knee pops on each step down and I find that disconcerting.

Down elevator.

Unlock him. Release the hood. Oh whoops, I forgot that I had taken the wiper fluid upstairs.

Go up 42 steps.

Get wiper fluid. Down elevator.

I go to the front of the car and slide my fingers into the grill trying to find that latch. Ok, not in that grill layer, try the next... again. again. again... try again, again, again, again. Better go get the manual. Go to glove box. Not there. Oh, right, I took it upstairs to read up on something.

Go up 42 steps.

Get manual. Down elevator.

Look at manual, compare with Rusty. Still... I can not find the latch. Anyone who has met me knows that I have small hands. Maybe I need longer 'fingers'? Decide to go get a wooden spoon.

Go up 42 steps.

Get spoon. Down elevator.

Bingo! The latch is obviously made for grown ups and not people with hamster hands. I find the wiper fluid tank, no problem. Ok, I go get the bottle of fluid to fill it up. Wow, this cap is really on there... I can't budge it. I am not a weak female; I lift weights. I figure maybe I need a rag, the texture of the cap and my cold fingers was causing pain. I go get a rag.

Go up 42 steps.

Get rag. Down elevator.

Chat with neighbour about the lingering snow. Try the rag on the wiper fluid bottle. Nope. Again. Nope. Get angry at it and try again. No. Argh!!! Decide to go get a wrench.

Go up 42 steps.

Find my tool box, get a biggish wrench. Down elevator.

Argh!!!! Too small!

Go up 42 steps.

Get biggest wrench. Down elevator.

ARGH!!! Still too small!

I'm near tears now because I've been feeling blue and this was just getting so frustrating! Suddenly I got very angry and whacked the cap of the wiper fluid with the wrench, 'take that you stubborn little fucker!!!' and pop! The top of the cap broke away. It fell back into the bottle... not perfect but hey, at least it's open!

Filled the wiper fluid tank, had a good laugh and Rusty is now a happy boy.

And, I've now been positively reinforced to believe that temper tantrums really do work! There's a few hundred dollars worth of therapy down the drain! haha! ;-)

19 comments:

  1. Wouldn't it be something if they invented a RealDoll that could top up Rusty's wiper fluid? But, until then, it's you and me, babe. :-)

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  2. Haha!

    And if they do invent a RealDoll like that, let's hope that we can afford more than kneecaps and toes!

    ;-)

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  3. lol!!!!!

    i'm highly aroused though, you own a tool box and at least 2 wrenches. very sexy!!!

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  4. Ah, but think of the exercise value! Really enjoyed this post .....

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  5. Anonymous should see my power tool collection.

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  6. Jayne! You hussy! ;-)

    But it's true dj, this woman owns her own scaffolding!!

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  7. Oh my goodness that is so like me! (except for the 42 steps).
    Very well written. I could feel the frustration and it (sorry) it made me laugh. (sorry!)

    Congrats on POTD.

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  8. So funny!! But I find I'm a little tired thinking about all of those steps. Congrats on your POD mention over at David's!

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  9. You must have the thighs of a female wrestler, and the patience of a saint. next time a trip to a garage and a smile will get you fixed in no time...there are times when using your womanly wiles is worth the fact that the 'boys' will say...'what would he women do without us?' actually the joke would be on them...poor saps.

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  10. You are a braver woman than I to even attempt auto repair on your own. :)

    Found you through authorblog.

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  11. A woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do. Congrats on your success with Rusty and on the POTD at D. McMahon's blog! Found you through him. :) Blessings!

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  12. Thank you authorblog for nominating this blog and linking to it. In this way I have found a soul mate that does things exactly like I do. Tatrums are the new yoga! Ciao

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  13. OMG...I gave up car mechanics when I put the windshield washer fluid when the oil goes and then had to wonder what the hell was wrong with the car...great post...enjoyed it immensely, thanks to David...congrats on the Post of the Day mention!
    Sandi

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  14. Nice post. Can't wait til you change your oil!

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  15. rather late in reading this, but enjoyed it and as one who forgets and has to go back to retrieve things I truly sympathise. You have great sense of humour.

    I have also read some of your other blogs and will try to keep up to date with them.

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  18. Nothing to see here folks...

    move along...

    ;-)

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