Non xmassy xmas?

I hate xmas and I have pretty much decided that I'm opting out of xmas this year. I just do not have the desire or the energy to feign happily going along with it anymore. I hate it, I have for a long, long time and it's time for me to live my life with integrity.

Question is... what shall I do over the holiday season? I'm very aware of the negative effects the most joyous time of the year (gag) has on certain people and this year, I'm one of those people.

So I'm wondering if maybe I should 'do something' but at the same time, my energy is low. Some days just getting up, dressed and fed is an accomplishment in itself nevermind pestering off somewhere.

Maybe I'll just crank up the heat, put on some good reggae and pretend I'm in Jamaica.

What would be your ideal non-xmassy xmas?

Cassiopeia? Ha!

Prkl, my bloggee friend in Finland, posted the below groovy pic on his blog. He mentioned a couple of constellations and asked if anyone recognised any others.



So I gazed and gazed and a constellation gradually appeared. I call it Citaloprameia. ;-)

Happy surprise!

Yesterday, I came home from my appointment with Shrinkychick and a round of food shopping, soaked, chilled to the bone and frazzled... oh, how I love this climate during the rainy season.

But all that faded away, when I checked my mail. A surprise! A wonderful book from someone in Scotland and the nicest thing that's happened to me in a very long while.

The blogosphere has been a surprising experience, fer shure.

(blows a kiss to Mr Scotland) ;-)

Scenic Sunday... sammich anyone?

This is the view from the summit of the Malahat... a section of the TransCanada Highway that winds northwards up the Island from Victoria (BC, Canada).

Nice place for a sammich, eh? What will you have? What's your favourite sammich?



Enjoy your sammich and please don't litter...

To see more Scenic Sundays, click the pic:

ugh... umm... aww...

I've been struggling for some peace of mind for a long while now and I think I'm battling depression. I recognise the increasing blackness and frequency of my dark moods but I also paradoxically have been feeling better in some respects.

It's an odd set of feelings to feel better and worse at once so it was a bit confusing to start taking an antidepressant, which I'm now taking and I find that very depressing, lol. Seriously though, swallowing that first pill was painful (a feeling defeat and defect) but ultimately I hope it takes the rough bottom edge off of my mood and anxiety without taking too much off the top.

Relating to the above, while 'having a moment' a few days ago, I messed with my blog... tried a new template and I think it removed stuff, I selected various options and fuck knows what else I did and in the mood I was in 'ah fuck it, who cares?' was my response to the mess and just left it.

I've received a few 'are you ok?' messages, which I will respond to eventually (I'm very spaced out) but I wanted say sorry to cause any worries or concern, thank you for caring; it means tons to me... you have no idea.