Hypnopompic Jesus.

That's what I woke up to this morning.

I opened my sleepy eyes and there's Jesus, yeah the Jesus Christ Jesus, propped up with a pillow, beside me, in my bed, reading a book. I immediately kicked out my feet towards his, 'Get your dirty sandals out of my bed, dude!' and then he evapourated.

I fell back to sleep.

For several months, I've been having hypnopompic hallucinations: vivid hallucinations that occur when I'm waking up.

The first one was waking up and seeing my late cat sitting on my bedside table. She was so real looking. I reached out my hand, 'hey there Buzz' but my hand went right through.

Since then, I've woken up many more times to Buzz and to other cats, a big beautiful chocolate lab, a goat, a tray of curries in little silver dishes and other mundane things. I've woken up, cuddled up to a mountain lion, a grizzly bear walking past my bed and a woman with silver hair looking down at me. Most excitingly, I awoke to a bull charging at me causing me to scuttle across my bed to avoid getting pwned!

These hallucinations also take the form of sensations. I've felt a hand on my shoulder, being covered by a blanket but the weirdest so far has been the feeling of my mattress moving as if someone had just sat on the edge of my bed. That one freaked me out a bit!

I can imagine how these hypnopompic hallucinations could be very disturbing to some people, or lead people to believe in ghosts, visitations from other worlds or the afterlife, or other paranormal weirdness and perhaps even convince people they have found God... after all, I woke up with his son in my bed. ;-)

From what I gather, not too much is known about hypnopompic hallucinations, except that about 12% of people have them and that they are more common in people who have sleep disorders (which I don't think I have). I suspect it's just a side effect of the citalopram (antidepressant/ssri) that I'm on.

Whatever the cause, I think this phenomenon is very interesting and I welcome it, ie, I don't suffer from hypnopompic hallucinations, I enjoy them.

Non xmassy xmas?

I hate xmas and I have pretty much decided that I'm opting out of xmas this year. I just do not have the desire or the energy to feign happily going along with it anymore. I hate it, I have for a long, long time and it's time for me to live my life with integrity.

Question is... what shall I do over the holiday season? I'm very aware of the negative effects the most joyous time of the year (gag) has on certain people and this year, I'm one of those people.

So I'm wondering if maybe I should 'do something' but at the same time, my energy is low. Some days just getting up, dressed and fed is an accomplishment in itself nevermind pestering off somewhere.

Maybe I'll just crank up the heat, put on some good reggae and pretend I'm in Jamaica.

What would be your ideal non-xmassy xmas?

Weird Dream...

Some context. My friend Mog wrote a hilarious post on her blog about her sleep habits. Especially funny was her recounting how, while sleep walking, she awoke and asked her then man if he had polished the spots on the horses yet... lol! I giggled about that all yesterday.

Ok, my dream. Last night I dreamed that I was trying to get on an elevator, a lift. Not a regular kind, but a paternoster kind. If you've not encountered one of these beasts - watch this:



Anyways... so I'm standing there and the paternoster lift is going very fast and I feel like a little kid trying to 'jump-in' when kids are skipping rope. In amazement, I'm watching people step on and off with ease. So, I decide, 'Oh fuck it, Marnie! Just walk towards the damn lift and hop on!' and so I did.

And just my luck!

As I'm stepping into the lift, the lift morphs into a paternoster that's used for documents and not people! The compartments are now only a foot tall... but I've gone too far! I'm beyond the point of no return! FFS! So I kick my legs up like I'm doing some Kung Fu move through the air and slide myself, feet first into a 'file slot'.

And there I am, sandwiched into the paternoster lift, around and around she goes... and guess who I see laughing?

Anyone else have any weird dreams lately?